This is where my rattled brains shoot away at the world.. take a tour

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Girl in Blue Frock

 She looked at the house every day and dreamed. The girl in the blue frock must be her age. She had a big nice house with that big fat man at the gate and the big black vehicle that takes her everywhere. She had once given a sweet thing to her which she ate happily. More out of hunger. But why did the girl in Blue frock look so pensive? Sad?

'Look at me", she thought. She had seen her own face in the mirror hung in the shop across the street. All the mud and dust had almost concealed her face. That, coupled with the fact that her bones were sticking out of her skin, must be the reason for people to be kind enough to throw a few extra coins at her every day. Her father was blind and half deaf too. Probably why he cried louder than her for those coins. Those gleaming coins decided every day for them. She knew she could never afford the sweet thing that the girl in blue frock gave her that day. And the taste still lingers. But she was happy as long as the shop-keeper across the street gave them a cup of tea and bread in exchange of those coins, every night.

She wanted to be that girl. The rag that she wore today has been her only clothing since she could remember. She too wanted to carry big covers inside a big black vehicle like the girl in blue frock. But why did she look so sad? 

More coins to be earned today....................

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I wish I could sit there in that girl's place on the road. I would exchange everything that I have today for that life. The car, the money, the chocolates, the school, the books, the dresses, the brooch and my father. The way he touches me at night, the way he gropes me..... I wish my mother was still alive. Probably, he killed her for me. How I wish I had died with her that night. The way his friends touch me make me want to tear myself apart bit by bit. This may be the price of being rich. I do not want all this. I want freedom. I want my body and my soul back. 

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Lot of people in their house today. No one looks happy? I got a few extra coins today. Some notes as well. Will eat rice tonight. The shop-keeper usually gives rice for so many coins and notes. Ever since father died a few months ago, the shop-keeper has been kind enough to me and allows me to sleep in the verandah after he closes the shop. Oh wait!! WHAT?? That's the girl in the blue frock. Why are they carrying her in that thin bed? Where is the big black vehicle? Is she dead? Yes, she is. Otherwise they would not carry her in that bad. When father died, the society workers came and picked him in that long white bed. Oh my God! Why did she die? I wish I had the chance to live her life. I would never have died.

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"Ma, I am coming to you.  I do not want to live this life any more. They are planning to sell me off to a 40-year old man in the name of marriage. I don't want to go. I want to live with you. I am coming to you ma. At least in my next birth, I want to lead a life as free as that girl who sits across our house on the road. As carefree as her."

2 comments:

Reaper said...

It's nice to see when you get sudden jhatkas :D..

Maxims said...

A very moving story, albeit familiar