(A lot of choicest abuses at no one in particular)
Today marked the third month of my being out of a job. The day went without much ado, unless if you count my being rejected by one of the top companies in the world. Close shave, as the Americans call it. That's what it was; so close and yet so far. The gnawing pain that one, who has been hit with depression from the age of 10, feels at this point is quite nagging and irritating. All the optimism levels that you carefully cultivate over the years internalizing and publicising small successes are tossed like empty bottles to the roadside. When Chetan Bhagat wrote about the small-town guy who invariably hits the big time. he must have surely meant someone who was born as the synonym of luck and not people like me. Certainly not people who had a comfortable job and life and still threw them away to go in search of secret heavens that existed somewhere in the outer space. The adage is true: Grass is always greener on the other side: only that I forgot what shade of green I should be looking for!
Maybe what went around, came back, as the saying goes.
My mother believes that I too will make it big time like my brother, one day. How do I tell her that I am just one of those average people who are meant for only small things? How do I tell my role-model, my millionaire brother, who has always been a success in his life, that I may not be able to live up to his expectations ever? How do I tell them that I am not as blessed enough to break the barriers and soar high above like they want me to, that I am an average being who is meant for average things, that the law of averages was about me? How do I ask them not to weave too many dreams around me and hurt themselves in the end?
Feeling pity? Save it. I don't need it. Life is giving me lemons now. But I am broke that I cant buy tequilas to compliment it. Even to restart, there is no fuel. The skies are just black.
Fade out!
Today marked the third month of my being out of a job. The day went without much ado, unless if you count my being rejected by one of the top companies in the world. Close shave, as the Americans call it. That's what it was; so close and yet so far. The gnawing pain that one, who has been hit with depression from the age of 10, feels at this point is quite nagging and irritating. All the optimism levels that you carefully cultivate over the years internalizing and publicising small successes are tossed like empty bottles to the roadside. When Chetan Bhagat wrote about the small-town guy who invariably hits the big time. he must have surely meant someone who was born as the synonym of luck and not people like me. Certainly not people who had a comfortable job and life and still threw them away to go in search of secret heavens that existed somewhere in the outer space. The adage is true: Grass is always greener on the other side: only that I forgot what shade of green I should be looking for!
Maybe what went around, came back, as the saying goes.
My mother believes that I too will make it big time like my brother, one day. How do I tell her that I am just one of those average people who are meant for only small things? How do I tell my role-model, my millionaire brother, who has always been a success in his life, that I may not be able to live up to his expectations ever? How do I tell them that I am not as blessed enough to break the barriers and soar high above like they want me to, that I am an average being who is meant for average things, that the law of averages was about me? How do I ask them not to weave too many dreams around me and hurt themselves in the end?
Feeling pity? Save it. I don't need it. Life is giving me lemons now. But I am broke that I cant buy tequilas to compliment it. Even to restart, there is no fuel. The skies are just black.
Fade out!
7 comments:
All of us walked down this road ure now treading and its best you cross it now than anytime later in life. The lesssons and xperiences now will be valuable in the long journey ahead. There is no easy way out of this - you have to cross it yourself and you'll walk out on the greenest side a better man...
Till then - keep walking !
G, We tend to see the high's that people/ near & dear have achieved... What we may not see is the details of the road that took them there... Trust me when I say - ALL of us withouot exception go through bad patches including your brother (I'm guessing)... It's dealing with this and not letting it get you down that will get you there.. Chin up... quoting Baz Luhrmann "The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't...."
- M
@Vijay - thanks for the comment bro. Yeah, I guess I will keep walking
@ M - thanks for the comment. Guess I'll keep on going in quest of what I really want to do
G, take it easy, such is life. But after every night, there is day, nothing lasts forever not even bad times ; You've lost this opportunity/ job only bcos the almighty has something better in mind for you - trust me on this and I vouch from experience - everything happens for a reason and for good; the depressing moments will soon be a thing of the past and what you have learnt from this phase will form a strong foundation for your future growth - cheer up and keep going
Thanks Sunietta
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