This is where my rattled brains shoot away at the world.. take a tour

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Comparison

The sound of wind howling outside made him shiver. Rain was lashing on the closed windows of his room. He wanted to open them and feel the rain against his face, the blast of cold wind to touch his soul as it always did in monsoons but could not quite summon up the courage to do so. Rather, that would have resulted in a change of his decision and he didn't want that to happen today. For the first time in life he wanted things to go his way. Everything was ready as planned. The loud noises from the merrymaking downstairs that his family was indulging in would muffle any sound emanating from this room. His cold hands shivered, partly due to fear. He tried to concentrate. Voices from the past were talking to him...

7 years old: "My baby is the best. He topped the class this year"

10 years old: "Wow! So you are the best student of the class, eh? Big hug "Your elder brother should learn a lesson or two from you". The elder brother continued to stare at the TV nonchalantly.

15 years old: "Are you going to school to study or do something else? Look at your brother. He is so much smarter than you. Shame!"

18 years old: "I had to beg and catch the feet of the principal to get you admitted to this college. Please don't do anything that will further bury my head in mud. All I am asking of you is to pass with decent marks, I know you are not capable of anything else. Your elder brother is earning 1lakh a month now. I would appreciate it if you earned at least 10 rupee a month. Please!"

21 years old: "Ha, with this mark, who will give you a job? We knew we were wasting our money on you. You want to be a movie actor is it? You think I spent all my money on you so that you can dance away to glory? Here, the cigarette packet I found in your almirah yesterday. What a way to spend my hard-earned money? Learn a lesson or two from your elder brother"

Girlfriend: "I am sorry to hear about your results. It's okay, you will clear all the papers next time I am sure. Oh, I forgot to tell you, I am flying to NYC in 2 weeks. My dad has found me a job there with XYZ TV. See you...ermm..some time. And... well... goodbye"

22 years old: "I knew you would fail. Tell you what? There is a vacancy for a security guard in my office. Why dont you apply? With your bodybuilding drama, I am sure you will easily land the job. Ok, enough of this nonsense now. Tomorrow is your brother's send-off party to the US. Call any of your friends if you want. And please, not your rogue gang again"

He smiled. Everything was ready. His mother's old saree was to be given away to the maidservant but no! This has to be used for purposes far superior to such philanthropy. He climbed on top of the little stool.

Lights blurred. Faded out. BLACK!! Colour of freedom!

18 comments:

Red Handed said...

Hmmmm...i knw sooo many people who are still being tormented by thr family for not being gud in studies. Nd i am thankful nobody resorted to this method. I cannot in anyway support suicide. I know he was done with the whole drama in his life and people pointing fingers at him and his family looking down at him but suicide wasnt a chance to attain nirvana. I know that i shud be in their position to feel that way but i dnt think i wud not only coz m scared but also i beleive in myself even if others dont and m not afraid to choose a path wich i think is favorable to me. I have a girl who isnt gud in studies and has 15 supplimentary exams to pass. She is my classmate nd her dad is in the navy. Even after we telling her to inform her parents, she hasnt told them and only one more semester is left. Thr is no way she b getting a convocation n we cnt help her. I dnt think she wud prefer such steps coz she has a very strong soul.

Musings of a Troubled Mind said...

@Red Handed - Thanks for being my first reader. I was trying to highlight the effect of unnecessary comparison bere. Benchmarking his own brother against him all the time is the reason for his continuous failure.

Truemon T A said...

Excellent dude.. keep writing :)

Musings of a Troubled Mind said...

Thanks Truemon :)

Gaya said...

Whoa...intense. It's really sad that people have to resort to suicide for a stupid number. Your GPA, percentage shouldn't decide who you are, or whether you are fit to live.

Musings of a Troubled Mind said...

@Gaya - thanks a lot for reading and the comment. My intention with this post was to highlight the perils of unnecesary comparison between siblings that parents sometimes resort to which can turn quite unhealthy.
And thats a cool logo you got there :)

Gaya said...

Hey totally agree. I mean children are impressionable and if this kind of comparison starts when they're young, they're bound to get messed up. Nice writing! And about the logo...thank you(and Google :D)!

Musings of a Troubled Mind said...

@Gaya - lol yeah...

~Serendipity~ said...

Thank you for sparing out time and mailing me those super sweet words :) my grief is not untold anymore. But I think I'm over it :)
the concept of this post is very impressionable :) I din know you could write so well :)

Musings of a Troubled Mind said...

@Serendipity - It was my pleasure and oh, time is aplenty with me :)
Thanks for the comment. Now I don't know about that 'writing well' part :)

Amigo said...

Hi Musings of a Troubled Mind,

This post clearly shows the effect of constant comparison and criticism on child.Its always better if parents don't compare their children with others especially siblings.
Instead of criticizing they must understand the problem and be supportive encouraging to do better..
But many families think comparison and criticism is the only solution...
Nicely depicted..Thank you...

Musings of a Troubled Mind said...

@Amigo - Thank you my friend for taking time out to read and comment. Really appreciate it :)
Yeah parents do not some time see that unnecessary comparison is what brings the performance of even a star performer down

Indumathy Sukanya said...

Man, you are one HECK of a writer!
Stumbled upon your blog a while back n took the time to read all your posts!
You're gonna go places with this standard of writing, i would bet!
Keep writing!

Musings of a Troubled Mind said...

@Indumathy - Thaaaaaank you :) That's by far the best compliment I have received for my blog. Hopefully I am able to live upto my readers' expectations :)

Poulomi said...

Dear Musings of a Troubled Mind,

Saying that this post is awesome is an understatement. It was intense and everything else. Love the slight angle of comparison that you've brought along.
You deserve waaay for followers. which am sure you will. Because I'm going to promote you like anything. JeeHaan.

I wish I could write so well.
Can't help but follow you. :)

xx
Love.
http://www.musingsofjustanothergirl.blogspot.com/

Musings of a Troubled Mind said...

@Poulomi - Just when I thought Indumathy had given me the biggest compliment of all, you come along and compete with her (ok now i know i should stop gloating and be happy that i have all u my trusted readers out there). Thank you so much girl :) n hey, both of us 'muse' a lot, don't we? :)
Cheers

Anonymous said...

Great writing but cant agree with everything you've said. After a certain age a man has to responsible for his own fate. Parents and teachers and others will compare you with your siblings and class mates but it is for you to find your own place.

Cant help but feel that this post somehow shows suicide as an exit option for those who have been dealt with unfairly in life. And that's not something that a person like you ( who seems to be a positive individual from the blogs i have read so far) should ever be responsible for.

Life is only what you make of of it, not what your parents tell you it is...and definitely not what your "comparisons" make you..

Musings of a Troubled Mind said...

@Anoymous - thanks for taking time out to read my post :) I would really appreciate it if all you "Anonymous" people in the blogworld published comments in your own name. You know, it will bring a personal touch to it :)

To your point, I do not endorse suicide as a resort/answer to any problem in life. Through this post, I was just trying to show how unnecessary comparisons can serve as an evil and drive people to do things which they wouldn't do otherwise. Guess I need to be a bit more articulate in my writing.

Once again thanks! And next time, please comment on your name :)
Cheers