This is where my rattled brains shoot away at the world.. take a tour

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Advantages of being single

Having drawn inspiration from this and this, the Troubled Mind reflected on its own course over the last 2 years.. well, they have been significant for the fact that this has been the longest period of single-dom for the owner of the Troubled Mind. No girlfriend, no flings, no commitments, manageable telephone bills, no credit card overdues and most importantly, mental peace!! :) I am sure most of you, my (precious, revered and scant number of) readers, are now up from your seats with sword in your arms ready to slash my tongue for the chavunistic line above but behold! This is how I see it, my lord/princess:

  • I don't need to take bath bath on weekends since there is no outing with my girlfriend since there is no GIRLFRIEND. I can always rely on Axe and the numerous other brands of deodorants in the market. (Psst.. I shower 2 times a day, alright?)
  • I have a lot of time for my friends now who I ignored while she was around. Luckily, my friends are the forgiving types :)
  • I can wear what I like to go to the nearby mall and not bother with a pair of fresh jeans, ironed teeshirt, fresh pair of socks and shoes. A pair of shorts(loose and colorless), a loose tee and a pair of old worn floaters is all that I need. Come on, no one to hug, no one to give a kiss to or hold close to, its easy.
  • I can eat at the road-side shop without a care in the world. I don't need to google for the best restaurant in town anymore.
  • No recharging phones. I recharge for Rs.100 and forget about it for days together. Two years back, Rs.100-worth recharge used to last me just 2 days and that too with call rates as cheap as 50p/min!!
My friends/mom/bro do not care if the tone of my voice changes from the usual. But a girlfriend? UGH!! "Why you sounding so rude today?" or "You don't like me, thats why you're talking in this tone" or better "Are you angry with me? Are you gonna break up with me? Boohooo...". Aaaaarrrrgh!! For heaven's sake I am not a fuckin' cuckoo and so my voice aint gonna be that sweet every hour of the day!
  • Talking about voice, I don't need to feel guilty about that godforsaken promise to my girlfriend every time I light a cigarette.  I can smoke however many I like. Alcohol? I don't need to give an account of the number of pegs/bottles that I emptied at the end of a beautiful drunken evening with friends and be made felt sorry for every drop that happily went inside.
  • I dont need to put up with her crankiness on those 3-4 days of the month when I could do with a shoulder myself. And I don't need to wake up at ungodly hours in the morning to wake her up so that she can study for her exams only to listen to her loud rattling snoring over the phone.
  •  I wont be questioned about why my relationship status is "Single" in Facebook.
  • Thinking about new ways to amuse her everyday, surprise her with an unannounced visit, making her feel special and all that jazz is a thing of past now. No worrying about cost of lipstick/eye shadow or tops or ladies' jeans.
  • I don't need to remember the colour of my piss in the morning or what color shade of purple was my female boss's top was or how hot my tea was in the evening anymore so that I can tell her when I give her the 'goodnight call' which goes on for a good 2-3 hours every night. Long goodnights eh?
  • NO SWEET NOTHINGS!! With my friends, its usually a "where're you? Ok I am coming". I don't need to coo or purr through the phone to express love.
  • Clean-shaven, stubbled or bearded chin--who cares, eh? No one to complain anymore that my chin is too soft for a guy or too hard that it pricks while I kiss.
  • No need to worry about her being out after dark in the rain, anymore or she not getting a rickshaw to go back home or whether the guy who is accompanying her is trustworthy.
  • A big relief - No more singing into the phone for her while I am crossing the road just so that she feels loved!
Having a girlfriend has its advantages, yes, like being woken up in the morning so that I can reach office on time or that cuddly soothing voice on a bad day or a breathy murmur on a rainy night. But trust me dudes and dudettes - Being single is like paragliding. The relaxed feeling of one who is flying above everything - it makes you so high!!

PS: I am not a woman-hater. Infact, I love WOMEN!!


Red Handed said...

Okie Mister how dare you! how did you have the guts to write all this. Especially after tagging on of my posts to it. Pwahahah actually what you wrote is true. And its not about being a woman hater or stuff like tht. Being committed also makes you hate yourself because you become so dependant on the other person. You get hurt for the tiniest of things the other person does. No trying to please the other, no heartaches.

Awesome! Remain single pls!

varsha said...

hey gomzy boy this was an interesting read..

Musings of a Troubled Mind said...

@Red handed - *sniff sniff* ''Remain single pls'' ?? What do you mean?? I'm looking forward to falling in love again so that I can write 'Vantages of being in Louu'
Varsha - thanks buddy

Red Handed said...

U had tht experience too dint u? U dint utilize tht moment to write a blog. So now remain single. Its the ANSWER To pure

Anonymous said...

Keep talking like this ...and all you'll have for a very long time is your own hand:-)

There're advantages beyond wake up calls my friend..and some of them cant be printed in a family space like this.

Musings of a Troubled Mind said...

@Red Handed - some kind wish there huh? Lol :))

@Anony-fucking-mous - Thanks and goodriddance!

Arjit Srivastava said...

Makes fucking perfect sense, mate. And can RELATE to each, and every word out of it. No, seriously. Life can be indeed bliss out of it. :P

Musings of a Troubled Mind said...

@Arijit - Hey, thanks for dropping by and the comment mate :)

Poulomi said...


way to go, bro.
SINGLE HERE TOO. You just inspired me to write a Advantages of being Single post. :D

P.S- Guys looks hot in shorts and floaters. Justsaying ;)

Musings of a Troubled Mind said...

@Poulomi - Hey, thanks for taking time out to read and comment. Yeah, guys in shorts n floaters maybe hot, but there're too many 'actual' hot ones out there for girls to look at than mere mortals like me..i'm not complaining :)