This is where my rattled brains shoot away at the world.. take a tour

Saturday, November 7, 2009

As the saying goes, Shit Happens! But what if ONLY shit happens? Well, as an ol friend of mine quoted "Times are a-changing". This may be what is called growing up. But whats the fun in growing up i ask? When there is nothing to laugh about, when there is nobody to turn to, then where is the fun? Till 2 months back, life seemed to be just next to perfect. Consolidating life from every corner, sewing it together - it had charm! kept me busy!
NOW, I'm back to my dreadful loneliness. Depression strikes me again with such vengeful ferocity that whenever I try to shake it off, it hits me harder on the face, on my chest, deep within, deep deep...
I AM THE REASON! Can't put the blame on anyone this time around. I am the sole reason! Thats what hurts the most. When you know that you yourself are the reason for your loneliness, your sad plight, your despair, your frustration, anger,everything, for your being moody,lonely, u feel so helpless like being pushed down a 10000ft gorge without a parachute.
There is a limit to hurting someone. I crossed it long back. Will they ever know how much i loved them? Will they ever care for my words or my waiting for them anymore? I don't know. But fact is, life, from now on will be one of those endless waiting stories for me- where you just wait, hoping, praying, crying,silently appealing for the other person to come back. Just once, to prove that you can keep them happy till the end of life. Will it ever happen????


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